Shane Life

When referencing a graphic design program, please do not - under any circumstances - EVER use the following dialogue:

Jim: “I thought you were good at Flash.”

Pam: “I was. And then they changed to Acrobat and now it’s Quark and I’m just not good at this computer stuff.”

Unacceptable. UNACCEPTABLE!!!! There are so many things wrong with that statement. Graphic designers and people who work on the Web should share my outrage.

I expect a full written apology from Pam Beesley, Jim Halpert, Dunder-Mifflin, Ricky Gervais, Greg Daniels, Jenna Fischer, John Krasinski, B.J. Novak, NBC Universal, and Reveille Productions.

You have 48 hours to meet my demands.

Unfortunately, due to heavy rain and “the conditions for tornadic activity”, The Office was pre-empted tonight. I wouldn’t mind so much if NBC’s streaming video site didn’t suck so much.

Note to NBC: I would have bought the show tonight from iTunes, but you burned that bridge long ago.

Oh yeah, and don’t bother updating your site after the show has aired. I already saw last week’s show, thanks.

How about you put it on Hulu? Nope.

I would have tried to download directly from your site, but you don’t support Macs. Fail.

I would have paid to download it from Amazon Unbox. Wait, what’s that? It’s not updated either? Fail again.

Live TV stinks, but the Internet’s not much better, Tony…not yet at least. Lost is pre-empted as well. Stupid weather.

The Office has been nails this season.

I don’t know about you, but I’m loving the extra 30 minutes of the Dunder Mifflin crew, if only for the extra Creed time. Tonight’s episode had everything you could ask for in a situation comedy. It had situations and they were all comedic.

Seriously, who thinks up this stuff? Dwight and Mose running a B&B! Michael with a second job! You know how you laugh so hard sometimes that you start to cough? No? Well I did tonight. What a great episode.

Some awesome Office links:

Dwight’s Blog, Schrute Space
Creed’s Blog, www.creedthoughts.gov.www\creedthoughts
Dunder Mifflin Infinity

Inspired by this article I got off of digg, I thought it would be a fun exercise to list the things that I think would improve all the shows that I watch on a weekly basis.

As the spring TV season comes to a close, there’s a lot of excitement because season finales are coming up (will the bomb actually go off on Heroes? who is going to die on Lost? the list of questions is endless…) and there’s a lot of speculation as to what will happen.

I love TV. Probably more than I should, but I do. There are some great shows out there that we watch and here are my suggestions to improving some of them:

LOST

Since Lost came back this season, I’ve been loving it. The show is still compelling, but it has its flaws. Here is what I’d do to make it better:

• Simplify. The show has gotten too sprawling. My favorite episodes of the season are the ones that return to the original core characters (Sayid, Jack, Kate, Locke, Sawyer). The Paulo/Nikki aberration this season was just weird. They guest-starred and then died/were buried alive. Juliet is plain evil, but we’ve had enough of her back story. If you’re going to give me the back story of anyone, make it the creepy scientist guy who just showed up on the island last week. I’d like to know what he’s all about. Which brings me to…
• Answer some questions. This is something that has always been a knock against Lost, and with good reason. So many things have happened that should probably be explained. First off…where the heck are they and what is this nonsense about Oceanic 815 being found at the bottom of the ocean? I don’t buy that for a second. I imagine that it is a part of some vast Dharma conspiracy. Creator Damon Lindelof has said numerous times that the castaways are not in purgatory. So WHERE ARE THEY? And who is the Dharma Initiative?
• Kill Charlie. Desmond predicted that Charlie would die. He should. He adds very little to the storyline, he doesn’t have any skills and his relationship with Claire is just annoying. He needs to go.
• Kate needs to decide - the doctor or the delinquent? Sure, she’s shacking up with Sawyer now, but the overt confusion Kate has over her feelings for the two dudes…it’s tired. It’s not like it matters. Has anyone else noticed that the more the show goes on, the more similar Sawyer and Jack become? Now no one trusts Jack and his past (albeit relatively recent past) is in question. Sound like a certain shaggy-haired criminal? Look, I don’t have feelings one way or the other. I don’t care who Kate chooses, although I think that Kate choosing Jack would make for better TV; her choosing Sawyer makes more sense to their characters (kindred criminal spirits and whatnot). Not only that, but Josh Holloway is a much better brooding actor. I just don’t buy Matthew Fox as an actor sometimes. Last week’s episode was some of Holloway’s best acting so far. It made me actually believe that if Fox were to leave the show, it would be in decent hands with Sawyer. I’m not saying that should happen, but the rumor is that there is a cast-changing event on the finale this year. Who’s to say it wouldn’t be Jack? Yeah right.

The Office

I don’t know if there are as many ways to improve The Office as there are to improve Lost. After last week’s “Women’s Appreciation” episode, I don’t know if there are any. These might be a stretch, but let’s see…

• Make Andy less creepy and more diabolical. When Andy came to the show, he was like a breath of fresh fraternity air. I think that the producers noticed that so they brought him and Karen from the Stamford branch to mix things up for the Dundies in Scranton. Last week’s episode, they put forth that he was in fact, the guy who flashed Phyllis (it was subtle, but watch again…you’ll see it). We know Andy’s crazy, but I didn’t see him as a sexual deviant. Go back to when he’d get all frustrated because Jim put his cell phone in the ceiling tiles…THAT was funny. Be real and leave the real creepiness to the king of it all, Creed “He was just hanging some brain” Bratton. Every time Creed is on screen, I laugh hysterically. He’s so subtle, but such an important part of the show.
• More background Kelly and Ryan. Her dancing in the car to Michael’s ring tone was priceless. Her telling Ryan she wanted to name their baby Suri Usher Jennifer Hudson Kapoor. Priceless. Ryan (who has just admitted to Jim that he sent an e-mail to Karen asking her out) saying he wouldn’t want to be in an office relationship was too funny. I think that BJ Novak and Mindy Kaling (who are two of the main writers of the show) are hesitant to put themselves on display, but they always make me laugh.
• Get rid of Jan. I think this may be a foregone conclusion after last week, but we’ll see. I don’t know what it is about her that is both funny and annoying. Last week’s episode put it into great perspective. She’s a dude.

How I Met Your Mother

Marshall and Lily and Barney have dominated this season. Rightfully so…they are the best characters. However, Ted is the driving force behind the show and it’s called How I Met Your Mother. I don’t think that the creators of the show (the real-life Ted and Marshall) are going to change their mind from the first season and Ted and Robin will end up together…I just don’t know where this alleged “mother” is going to come from. I think that there are still people who want it to be Robin, but it’s just not possible in my opinion. That leaves the show very open-ended and gives them the ability to figure out the perfect way for Ted to meet the mother. The show is awesome. It is really my new “Friends”. If you aren’t watching it, you should. I don’t really have any other suggestions.

IMPORTANT UPDATE: I just read that for some reason, CBS has How I Met Your Mother “on the bubble”. That is utter ridiculousness, but it’s been quasi-confirmed by Kristin Veitch at E!Online (watch the video after the link). This was more than disheartening news for me…

Dancing with the Stars

• Get rid of Samantha Harris. Worst. Commentator. Ever.
• Make the Results show a half-hour. It is always an hour, which is totally ridiculous. Completely filler. No reason to be an hour.
• Consistent scoring. Last week when Apolo said that he’d like to see more consistent scoring across the board, I applauded him. Billy Ray Cyrus got a pass up until last night because he got good ratings (for God knows why). I couldn’t ever figure out why Len loved him and then was all over Joey and Apolo when they tried to entertain a little.

Entourage

• Make Vince less of a moron. The dude is seriously one of the worst decision makers I’ve ever seen. Perhaps that is on purpose, but it is annoying. Honestly, he is probably the worst character on the show. (Aside: I LOVED Adam Goldberg on Sunday’s episode…Hilarious.)
• Give Turtle something to do. Anything. I actually liked watching him last season try to be a manager. This year, he is Drama’s errand boy. He needs to progress a little as a character.
• More Lloyd. The relationship between Lloyd and Ari is the best part of the show. He’s been gone the last two episodes. BRING BACK LLOYD.

Heroes

This is a tough one because it’s new and I like it a lot, but I still have some opinions.

• Get rid of Nikki/Jessica. Ali Larter is an absolutely AWFUL actress. She shouldn’t be on the show.
• Have something happen to Peter that makes him lose all his powers. This is getting ridiculous. Sylar is likely going to die in the season finale…something should happen to Peter to keep him from gaining everyone’s power because either he will be like the ultimate hero or he’ll just be lame.
• Tell me what Mama Petrelli’s power is. Seriously. It is driving me nuts. I want to know!
• Get rid of Thompson (Eric Roberts). I think he is supposed to be sinister, but he just bugs me.

American Idol

I saved the most popular show on TV for last. Here’s my suggestion:

End the show. I wouldn’t buy the album of any of these fools left. Quit while you are ahead. If you can’t do that, at least replace Randy and Paula with people who speak English. If I have to hear “you worked it out” or “it just didn’t work for me” or “but you know I love you” or “you’re great” one more time, I’m going to puke. REAL CRITICISM, PEOPLE! That’s what you are there for!

In honor of Rainn Wilson hosting Saturday Night Live tonight, I have to post the awesomest music video ever…THE DWIGHT SCHRUTTE MUSIC VIDEO.

I really liked Brian’s post about his favorites of 2006, so I thought I would drop mine onto the internets.

Favorite Book: This is a tough one. I’ve read more books this year than in any year past. If I wanted to seem all intellectual and whatnot, I’d say that The Tipping Point was my favorite read. And truthfully, it was my favorite non-fiction read of the year. Great writing and a fascinating book. However, I would probably say that my favorite book of the year was Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Call me cheesy or whatever, but after reading all 6 Harry Potter books this year, I finally see what the big deal is. While I held high acclaim for several books this year (I had about 8 that scored higher than 9 out of 10 on my scale, including The Historian, which I called “the best book I’ve read in the last 5 years”), I can’t think of a single book outside of the fifth in the Harry Potter series that I enjoyed more.

Favorite Movie: OK, so the year’s not yet over, but I’m going to need to categorize my favorite movies…

Favorite Comedy: There were not a lot of terribly funny movies out there this year. Out of the few, I had a great time watching both The Devil Wears Prada and Little Miss Sunshine. Very different movies, but both were a lot of fun. However, my favorite comedy of the year was Stranger than Fiction. Honorable mentions for Clerks 2 and Thank You for Smoking.

Favorite Drama: Another tough one. I would like to retract my earlier statement that Leonardo di Caprio did not deserve two Best Actor nominations. After seeing Blood Diamond, I realized that he deserved every bit of them. Blood Diamond is excellent as was The Departed. I would give a slight edge to The Departed only because Jack Nicholson is so awesome in it.

Favorite Action: Casino Royale. Hands down.

Favorite Animated: Cars. Pixar does what only Pixar can do.

Favorite TV Sitcom: The Office is my clear choice here, but it is followed closely by How I Met Your Mother, which Alli and I have dubbed “the new Friends”.

Favorite TV Drama: Lost has really lost a lot of steam. Even at the top of its game, I don’t think I would enjoy it more than I am enjoying Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip these days.

Favorite TV Reality: Top Chef. Always Top Chef.

Favorite TV New: Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. Perhaps my favorite show on TV right now. Honorable mention for the late Six Degrees.

Favorite Album: Either St. Elsewhere by Gnarls Barkley or Continuum by John Mayer.

Favorite Event: Changing jobs. It was really hard to leave PSI, but it’s been a great experience so far. I’m really liking my new position. Also, the Chiefs making the playoffs is up there.

Favorite Home Improvement Project: I would probably say the tiling project if Alli and I hadn’t decided to make our bedroom a priority. We just got a bed, nightstands, new lamps, and drapes. Totally changes it (although we haven’t gotten the bed yet). Now we just need a new mattress.

Favorite Trip: VEGAS BABY.

Favorite Poker Night: Coming back from being desperately short-stacked to winning in the longest heads-up match against Darin at Jason’s house.

Favorite Restaurant: Pizza Shack. Would have been Chipotle if not for an AWESOME 30th birthday outing.

Favorite Present: Easily my painting.

That should be all for now. Here’s to a great 2007.

No, not a Friends reference.

It’s a reference to another one of my favorite shows, which is unfortunately getting cancelled after the end of this season. Since my friend Sarah introduced us to Alias midway through Season 2, we haven’t missed an episode of this show.

Season 4 SPOILERS AHEAD

Continue reading this post »

Volume 8
This evening, I am extremely thankful for my DVR. I never thought that I would be thankful for anything that I would ever receive from Comcast (mostly because I think that they are very very evil), but I am thankful for that.

Tonight, I was able to help my mom (with the assistance of my brother) paint one of the rooms in their old house (which is on the market right now if you want to buy it!) and I didn’t have to miss The Office.

DVR is awesome. Skipping commercials is the bomb diggity. Comcast is not.