Shane Life

This is perhaps the greatest thing you’ll see today. Hilarious.

OK, so I was having an e-mail discussion with some friends and we were discussing what the best trilogies of all-time might be. I think that everyone will agree that if you have that discussion, the Godfather is almost always hands-down the winner. The only problem is that I’ve never seen the Godfather (I know…I know).

Anyway, I wanted to rank my top 10 Trilogies of All-Time. I’m going to put out the following rules:

1. There should be no changing of the main characters.
2. All movies should work by themselves
3. The movies should enrich the other movies in the series.
4. Must include more than just a sequel.

Those are the rules. Some of the below might break them in some ways, but they are good enough to overcome the rules, they will be included. So without further adieu…

The List:

1. Original Star Wars Trilogy - Will always be #1 to me. I’ve always loved these movies, ever since I was a kid.
2. The Matrix Trilogy - So it isn’t great at adhering to #2 on my list, but I loved these movies. I loved how Reloaded set up what was going to happen in Revolutions and I even loved Revolutions.
3. Indiana Jones Trilogy - I don’t think that there has ever been a more likable hero than Indiana Jones. He’s a man’s man and a woman’s man. Plus, the movies were all genius. I’m not sure we need a fourth installment, but I’ll go see it all the same.
4. The Lord of the Rings - Despite their excessive length, these movies RULE THEM ALL.
5. The Die Hard Trilogy - I can’t even begin to express how excited I am about the new one coming out this summer. John McClaine is one of the great characters of all-time. I still cringe thinking about him walking barefoot across the glass in the first movie. Ouch.
6. The Back to the Future Trilogy - As much as the third one sucked, I still loved these movies. Michael J. Fox has spent the rest of his career trying to re-capture the genius of Marty McFly.
7. The Terminator Trilogy - Arnold Schwartzennager at his awesome best. Hasta la Awesome baby.
8. The Austin Powers Trilogy - This wasn’t on my original list because the first time I watched Goldmember, I just didn’t think it was all that funny. After a couple more times watching it, I really started to find its hilarity (not the unintentional hilarity of Beyonce’s awful acting, but the real hilarity). Plus, the scene where Austin and his dad are talking to each other in “English” English cracks me up.
9. The “Vacation” series - I know that Vegas Vacation is pretty awful, but the other 3 are absolutely genius. Sure, they ignore rule #1 for Rusty and Audrey for all the movies, but still…Chevy Chase is just so gosh darn funny. Christmas Vacation is a top 5 comedy of all-time…not just a Christmas movie. It’s THAT. FUNNY.
10. The Pirates of the Caribbean movies - OK, so At World’s End doesn’t come out for another month or so, but the first two were great. Johnny Depp is so brilliant as Captain Jack Sparrow that you have to appreciate these movies. Plus, you have to appreciate how they made something totally sweet out of a relatively lame ride at Disney World.

So what do you think of my list?

Star Wars was SECOND as the Top Sci-Fi movie of all-time as voted on by the readers of SFX Magazine.

Second? That’s not that bad, right?

So what was first?

2001: A Space Odyssey? HAL says no.
Alien? No love for stomach parasites, I guess.
Terminator? Hasta la vista, baby.
Blade Runner? I’m assuming that the presence of Harrison Ford twice on the list split the vote because it wasn’t first either.
Planet of the Apes? The damn dirty apes were robbed.
The Matrix? Apparently innovation in filmmaking doesn’t matter so much.

Serenity.

That’s right. A sci-fi movie that NOBODY saw, was voted the #1 Sci-fi movie of ALL-TIME. Perhaps the readers of SFX Magazine didn’t quite understand the question, because that’s the only explanation I can find as to why this movie would even be in the top 10. Serenity was based on a CANCELLED TV show called Firefly. Star Wars (and others listed above) shouldn’t even have to pee in the same POOL as this piece of junk. (Granted, I haven’t seen it, but I’ve seen everything else on the list.)

In even more ridiculousness, Serenity received TWICE as many votes as Star Wars. Now that’s just dumb.

Can someone please EXPLAIN this to me?

I should have reviewed this a long time ago (in a galaxy far, far away…)

Star Wars Episode three was…
Dark. Dark. Dark.

Anyone heard this before?

The truth is that after all the reviews that I read, I can’t do this much justice. So first, I’ll direct you here, to Jason Kottke’s review, which sums up my sentiments pretty well.

There are SPOILERS, so if you haven’t seen and don’t want to know, don’t read on. Otherwise, feel free!

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