Inspired by this article I got off of digg, I thought it would be a fun exercise to list the things that I think would improve all the shows that I watch on a weekly basis.

As the spring TV season comes to a close, there’s a lot of excitement because season finales are coming up (will the bomb actually go off on Heroes? who is going to die on Lost? the list of questions is endless…) and there’s a lot of speculation as to what will happen.

I love TV. Probably more than I should, but I do. There are some great shows out there that we watch and here are my suggestions to improving some of them:

LOST

Since Lost came back this season, I’ve been loving it. The show is still compelling, but it has its flaws. Here is what I’d do to make it better:

• Simplify. The show has gotten too sprawling. My favorite episodes of the season are the ones that return to the original core characters (Sayid, Jack, Kate, Locke, Sawyer). The Paulo/Nikki aberration this season was just weird. They guest-starred and then died/were buried alive. Juliet is plain evil, but we’ve had enough of her back story. If you’re going to give me the back story of anyone, make it the creepy scientist guy who just showed up on the island last week. I’d like to know what he’s all about. Which brings me to…
• Answer some questions. This is something that has always been a knock against Lost, and with good reason. So many things have happened that should probably be explained. First off…where the heck are they and what is this nonsense about Oceanic 815 being found at the bottom of the ocean? I don’t buy that for a second. I imagine that it is a part of some vast Dharma conspiracy. Creator Damon Lindelof has said numerous times that the castaways are not in purgatory. So WHERE ARE THEY? And who is the Dharma Initiative?
• Kill Charlie. Desmond predicted that Charlie would die. He should. He adds very little to the storyline, he doesn’t have any skills and his relationship with Claire is just annoying. He needs to go.
• Kate needs to decide - the doctor or the delinquent? Sure, she’s shacking up with Sawyer now, but the overt confusion Kate has over her feelings for the two dudes…it’s tired. It’s not like it matters. Has anyone else noticed that the more the show goes on, the more similar Sawyer and Jack become? Now no one trusts Jack and his past (albeit relatively recent past) is in question. Sound like a certain shaggy-haired criminal? Look, I don’t have feelings one way or the other. I don’t care who Kate chooses, although I think that Kate choosing Jack would make for better TV; her choosing Sawyer makes more sense to their characters (kindred criminal spirits and whatnot). Not only that, but Josh Holloway is a much better brooding actor. I just don’t buy Matthew Fox as an actor sometimes. Last week’s episode was some of Holloway’s best acting so far. It made me actually believe that if Fox were to leave the show, it would be in decent hands with Sawyer. I’m not saying that should happen, but the rumor is that there is a cast-changing event on the finale this year. Who’s to say it wouldn’t be Jack? Yeah right.

The Office

I don’t know if there are as many ways to improve The Office as there are to improve Lost. After last week’s “Women’s Appreciation” episode, I don’t know if there are any. These might be a stretch, but let’s see…

• Make Andy less creepy and more diabolical. When Andy came to the show, he was like a breath of fresh fraternity air. I think that the producers noticed that so they brought him and Karen from the Stamford branch to mix things up for the Dundies in Scranton. Last week’s episode, they put forth that he was in fact, the guy who flashed Phyllis (it was subtle, but watch again…you’ll see it). We know Andy’s crazy, but I didn’t see him as a sexual deviant. Go back to when he’d get all frustrated because Jim put his cell phone in the ceiling tiles…THAT was funny. Be real and leave the real creepiness to the king of it all, Creed “He was just hanging some brain” Bratton. Every time Creed is on screen, I laugh hysterically. He’s so subtle, but such an important part of the show.
• More background Kelly and Ryan. Her dancing in the car to Michael’s ring tone was priceless. Her telling Ryan she wanted to name their baby Suri Usher Jennifer Hudson Kapoor. Priceless. Ryan (who has just admitted to Jim that he sent an e-mail to Karen asking her out) saying he wouldn’t want to be in an office relationship was too funny. I think that BJ Novak and Mindy Kaling (who are two of the main writers of the show) are hesitant to put themselves on display, but they always make me laugh.
• Get rid of Jan. I think this may be a foregone conclusion after last week, but we’ll see. I don’t know what it is about her that is both funny and annoying. Last week’s episode put it into great perspective. She’s a dude.

How I Met Your Mother

Marshall and Lily and Barney have dominated this season. Rightfully so…they are the best characters. However, Ted is the driving force behind the show and it’s called How I Met Your Mother. I don’t think that the creators of the show (the real-life Ted and Marshall) are going to change their mind from the first season and Ted and Robin will end up together…I just don’t know where this alleged “mother” is going to come from. I think that there are still people who want it to be Robin, but it’s just not possible in my opinion. That leaves the show very open-ended and gives them the ability to figure out the perfect way for Ted to meet the mother. The show is awesome. It is really my new “Friends”. If you aren’t watching it, you should. I don’t really have any other suggestions.

IMPORTANT UPDATE: I just read that for some reason, CBS has How I Met Your Mother “on the bubble”. That is utter ridiculousness, but it’s been quasi-confirmed by Kristin Veitch at E!Online (watch the video after the link). This was more than disheartening news for me…

Dancing with the Stars

• Get rid of Samantha Harris. Worst. Commentator. Ever.
• Make the Results show a half-hour. It is always an hour, which is totally ridiculous. Completely filler. No reason to be an hour.
• Consistent scoring. Last week when Apolo said that he’d like to see more consistent scoring across the board, I applauded him. Billy Ray Cyrus got a pass up until last night because he got good ratings (for God knows why). I couldn’t ever figure out why Len loved him and then was all over Joey and Apolo when they tried to entertain a little.

Entourage

• Make Vince less of a moron. The dude is seriously one of the worst decision makers I’ve ever seen. Perhaps that is on purpose, but it is annoying. Honestly, he is probably the worst character on the show. (Aside: I LOVED Adam Goldberg on Sunday’s episode…Hilarious.)
• Give Turtle something to do. Anything. I actually liked watching him last season try to be a manager. This year, he is Drama’s errand boy. He needs to progress a little as a character.
• More Lloyd. The relationship between Lloyd and Ari is the best part of the show. He’s been gone the last two episodes. BRING BACK LLOYD.

Heroes

This is a tough one because it’s new and I like it a lot, but I still have some opinions.

• Get rid of Nikki/Jessica. Ali Larter is an absolutely AWFUL actress. She shouldn’t be on the show.
• Have something happen to Peter that makes him lose all his powers. This is getting ridiculous. Sylar is likely going to die in the season finale…something should happen to Peter to keep him from gaining everyone’s power because either he will be like the ultimate hero or he’ll just be lame.
• Tell me what Mama Petrelli’s power is. Seriously. It is driving me nuts. I want to know!
• Get rid of Thompson (Eric Roberts). I think he is supposed to be sinister, but he just bugs me.

American Idol

I saved the most popular show on TV for last. Here’s my suggestion:

End the show. I wouldn’t buy the album of any of these fools left. Quit while you are ahead. If you can’t do that, at least replace Randy and Paula with people who speak English. If I have to hear “you worked it out” or “it just didn’t work for me” or “but you know I love you” or “you’re great” one more time, I’m going to puke. REAL CRITICISM, PEOPLE! That’s what you are there for!

|

<rant>

For about the last year, I’ve been selling a bunch of shirts through CafePress.com that feature Ari Gold’s signature catch phrase, “Let’s Hug it Out, Bitch” on them in a sexy typeface with a very simple embellishment on the o in “out”.

I did a search for the shirt just to see if it would come up at all and I wasn’t surprised not to find it on the front page. I was, however, extremely surprised to find this blatant rip-off (and quite ugly) version of my original design.

Now I realize that I in no way have any copyright to the phrase and that’s part of the beauty of CafePress, but for someone to just flat out rip my design off (and then put it in the absolutely awful Banana Split font they used - yuck!) really annoys me. I realize that I was not the first - nor will I be the last - person to make a shirt with that phrase on it. There are a bunch just on the first page of my search

Look, I don’t make any money off CafePress. Not enough to write home about at least. It’s just the principle of it…well, it’s a little irritating. I imagine that very few people feel sorry for me, but it annoyed me today. Isn’t that what a blog is for? A place to put the things that annoy you?

Anyway, I don’t know if this even remotely interests anyone, but if you’d like to buy a Let’s Hug It Out T-shirt, please check out either one of my CafePress stores.

</rant>

|

One of my favorite shows on TV is finally back for the second half of its 3rd season.

Last we left them, the following things had happened:

• Ari had screwed Vince out of the Joey Ramone project because he mistreated the producer who had the project
• Turtle got screwed by Saigon, his first music client
• Drama got cast in an Ed Burns TV pilot (classic scene was Drama almost psyching himself out of the role)
• And Vince and Eric fired Ari

It was a dramatic mini-cliffhanger, but one we’ve seen before. I’ve been anxious for the show to return because it is great and I’m anxious to see what is going to happen now.

So last night’s episode had the following:

• Vince’s new agent (Carla “Son-in-Law” Gugino) taking him to a Laker game and seeing Ari, and also trying to convince her client to take a period film for his next project
• Vince’s birthday party (which Turtle ingeniously had sponsored by Skyy Vodka, Victoria’s Secret and a bunch of other corporate sponsors aboard the Queen Mary…Turtle is awesome)
• Ari delivering the Medellin script, claiming that Benicio del Toro is backing out, thus giving Vinnie the film he’s been wanting to do since the beginning of season one
• Johnny Drama being on a billboard (seriously, how pathetic is that dude? He stands in front of his own billboard and has Turtle take pictures of him until people recognize him)
• Ari and Lloyd (any episode that has a 2-minute scene with these two is worth the other 24 minutes of the episode)

I thought that overall, it was a decent episode…a good start to the second half of the season. I’m hoping that the next episode builds on it…I imagine that Carla Gugino will be around at least 5 episodes, but I foresee Vince returning to Ari by the end of the season. I’m just glad the show is back.

|

I was all set to write a post about the Golden Globes and the glaring snubs, but as I looked at the list further, I couldn’t really find a ton that I disagreed with.

One of the greatest things about the Globes is that they award for both comedy AND drama in the movie department. I’ve always felt that the Oscars might be better if they did something like that. The Academy always seems so stuffy…it’s been so long since something that made me smile won (Shakespeare in Love, maybe?).

One of the most impressive things about the Globes this year is that it looked like they really tried to make choices that were based on merit, not necessarily buzz. The sheer inclusion of one actor and one director being nominated twice in the same category…that’s amazing.

Things I really liked about the nominations:

• The return of Lost to nominations status, including the rewarding of Evangeline Lilly for her role as Kate. Say what you will…she’s the heart and soul of that show (argue with me all you want…the only reason that Sawyer is interesting is that he is a part of the love triangle focusing on the hobbit’s girlfriend).
• Another nomination for both Entourage and Jeremy Piven - Best. Character. On. TV.
• Affleck getting the nod for Hollywoodland - I’ve not seen the movie, but I heard he was great in it. I think that people have finally gotten over their overexposure to you, Ben.
• Borat - Haven’t seen the movie, but with all the hype it received, it’s pretty amazing that it was universally appreciated…usually movies like that have a lot of detractors, but everyone I spoke with said they liked it.
• Thank You for Smoking - A smart and funny satire on the power of communication. Aaron Eckhart totally deserved his nomination.
• Leonardo di Caprio for The Departed - He was so good in that movie that it wasn’t even funny. Scorsese deserved his nomination as well (and should win, in my opinion).
• Will Smith - I haven’t seen the movie yet, but I’ve heard that it’s a little sentimental. I applaud the HFPA for nominating him for the performance and not necessarily the movie (that’s not saying the movie will be bad, just the reviews I’ve heard use words like “predictable” and “overly-sentimental”).
• The return of NBC Thursdays (4 of the 5 nominations for Best Actor in a TV Comedy are from Thursday NBC shows). Sure, Tony Shalhoub will probably win, but it’s nice to see Jason Lee and Steve Carrell nominated.
• Weeds nominations. Best Comedy and two people up for Best Supporting, including the very deserving Elizabeth Perkins.
• At least one Studio 60 nomination. (Sara Paulson in Best Supporting)

Things I didn’t like about the nominations:

• Zach Braff for Scrubs. Look, I like that show, but the reason I watch it is for Dr. Cox.
• No love for How I Met Your Mother. Neal Patrick Harris should have at least been up for supporting.
• Not enough nominations for Studio 60. I’ve said this before, but it is the best show on TV. Amanda Peet should be up, as should Matthew Perry. Look for Christine Lahti to win the Guest Star Emmy.
• Leo’s second nomination for Blood Diamond. I realize that they probably want to reward the work, but the trailers I’ve seen…Leo’s accent seems awfully muddled. I would rather have seen Djimon Hounsou up.
• Bill Paxton up for Big Love. I don’t care if you like that show. Bill Paxton is one of the worst actors on the planet. Would have rather seen someone from Lost or Studio 60 on that list. At least James Gandolfini wasn’t nominated.
• Patricia Arquette for Medium. See above note regarding Bill Paxton.
• No Emma Thompson for Stranger than Fiction. Meryl Streep will win the award, but Emma deserved to be nominated.
• No screenplay nod for Stranger than Fiction. So original and great. No love, save Will Ferrell.

So that’s it for now. What did you think of the nominations?

|

I love having HBO because it means that I am able to watch Entourage during the summer. Totally sweet. It is probably my favorite show on TV right now (that is currently showing new episodes…anything in summer re-runs doesn’t count).

The 3rd season started a little show, but it has picked up a lot of steam lately and the last few episodes have been excellent.

SEASON 3 SPOILERS AHEAD!

OK…so, I love that Ari is starting his agency with Barbara Miller…I think it is hilarious, despite Beverly D’Angelo’s absolutely awful acting (and really…could she have a little more work done on her face?). I think that if I had to rank the main characters on the show as my favorites, it would look a little like this:

1. Ari
2. Drama
3. E
4. Turtle
5. Lloyd
6. Vince

The show really isn’t about Vince, it’s about his Entourage. They are the most important characters…they are the ones that are the most crucial to the show. OK…maybe that’s a bit of a stretch…they wouldn’t be there without Vince, but you get what I’m saying. Adrian Grenier is only a mediocre actor…the show is carried by Jeremy Piven (PIVS!).

I’m anxious to see what happens the rest of this season. I was happy to see Walsh back for the last episode. He personifies the indie director who hates everything but his work (although I have to agree…QB looked like crap colorized). Vince is the idealistic actor who doesn’t really understand “the system” yet, but also has yet to come to grips with the fact that he is responsible for the lives of all his housemates as well as a bunch of other people who hang on his coattails. He’s kind of a punk.

But he has a great show.

|