If you are like me and you watch How I Met Your Mother and The Big Bang Theory on Monday nights (and let’s face it…if you aren’t watching these shows, there’s just no talking to you), this applies to you.

Check your DVR.

CBS is running an election special during their normal airtimes and have moves HIMYM and BBT back to after David Letterman. This actually works out well for me because it allows us to record Dancing with the Stars and the Saturday Night Live Election Bash at the same time. Booyah!

So if you watch these shows, make sure and check your DVR.

You are welcome.

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Tonight when I was watching Dancing with the Stars (yes, I watch Dancing with the Stars), the “Stars of Dance” special feature was Omarion covering a couple Michael Jackson songs to commemorate the 25th anniversary of Thriller.

There’s no doubt that Michael Jackson is off-the-reservation-crazy, but there’s also no doubt that he still remains one of the single most influential figures in pop music and Thriller is the seminal album in his long career. It contains some of the greatest pop songs of all-time, including “Billie Jean” and the title track, both of which were covered by Omarion during the performance.

During the performance, I leaned over to Alli and said to her, “You know there are some songs that should be like retired numbers in sports…they shouldn’t be covered by anyone else.” Thriller is one of those songs. Omarion is a decent performer (he’s no Chris Brown, but he’s passable), but his version of Thriller was a train wreck. They dropped it an octave and the song just doesn’t work there.

I know there are a ton of other songs out there that shouldn’t be covered. Vogue by Madonna would be one. Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen would be one. Others that come to mind: Enter Sandman by Metallica, Hotel California by the Eagles, The Joker by the Steve Miller Band, Hound Dog by Elvis Presley.

What songs would have their numbers retired in your CD collection?

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I’m not sure where these reality shows manage to find the losers they put in front of the camera in between events. Jeff Probst’s previous gig before Survivor was Rock N Roll Jeopardy. Ryan Seacrest had a radio show in Los Angeles before American Idol. Chris Harrison hosted Designer’s Challenge on HGTV before The Bachelor. And these are all people who I would consider more qualified to host reality shows than Samantha Harris.

I’m not proud to admit that I watch Dancing with the Stars, but one thing I do is that I mute the TV whenever Samantha Harris is on the screen. Andy Denhart of reality blurred recently published an article on MSNBC giving several instances of Harris’ awfulness as a host.

Harris is just absolutely and completely lost half the time, constantly referring to her handy-dandy postcard to be saved from herself. Is it really that hard to ask interesting questions? I seriously don’t think she pays attention at all to the show and has a monkey behind the camera telling her what to say. Although a monkey might make more sense…

ABC, I beg of you to get rid of her from this show. Having Tom Bergeron’s cheesiness is plenty to stomach during the show. We really don’t need Samantha’s babbling on a show where the host’s other gig is America’s Funniest Home Videos and the top prize is a mirror ball trophy.

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Alli and I were equally stunned when Sabrina the Cheetah Girl was sent home from Dancing with the Stars on Tuesday.

It just goes to show you that popularity is probably more important than talent. Not a good lesson for kids, but it’s really the main lesson that reality shows teach us. Taylor Hicks is a godawful American Idol, but he won because more people voted for him. There are countless examples of the Taylor Hicks Effect - reality show contestants who are prematurely voted off because the more rabid fans of those less talented are more likely to vote than the people like me who watch the shows, but don’t take the time to vote.

I’d much rather complain about the results than pick up my phone.

I wonder if it was a ploy by ABC to try and get more people to vote - someone suggested that online (perhaps Entertainment Weekly). I wouldn’t put it beneath them.

I hate being a Reality TV junkie.

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Inspired by this article I got off of digg, I thought it would be a fun exercise to list the things that I think would improve all the shows that I watch on a weekly basis.

As the spring TV season comes to a close, there’s a lot of excitement because season finales are coming up (will the bomb actually go off on Heroes? who is going to die on Lost? the list of questions is endless…) and there’s a lot of speculation as to what will happen.

I love TV. Probably more than I should, but I do. There are some great shows out there that we watch and here are my suggestions to improving some of them:

LOST

Since Lost came back this season, I’ve been loving it. The show is still compelling, but it has its flaws. Here is what I’d do to make it better:

• Simplify. The show has gotten too sprawling. My favorite episodes of the season are the ones that return to the original core characters (Sayid, Jack, Kate, Locke, Sawyer). The Paulo/Nikki aberration this season was just weird. They guest-starred and then died/were buried alive. Juliet is plain evil, but we’ve had enough of her back story. If you’re going to give me the back story of anyone, make it the creepy scientist guy who just showed up on the island last week. I’d like to know what he’s all about. Which brings me to…
• Answer some questions. This is something that has always been a knock against Lost, and with good reason. So many things have happened that should probably be explained. First off…where the heck are they and what is this nonsense about Oceanic 815 being found at the bottom of the ocean? I don’t buy that for a second. I imagine that it is a part of some vast Dharma conspiracy. Creator Damon Lindelof has said numerous times that the castaways are not in purgatory. So WHERE ARE THEY? And who is the Dharma Initiative?
• Kill Charlie. Desmond predicted that Charlie would die. He should. He adds very little to the storyline, he doesn’t have any skills and his relationship with Claire is just annoying. He needs to go.
• Kate needs to decide - the doctor or the delinquent? Sure, she’s shacking up with Sawyer now, but the overt confusion Kate has over her feelings for the two dudes…it’s tired. It’s not like it matters. Has anyone else noticed that the more the show goes on, the more similar Sawyer and Jack become? Now no one trusts Jack and his past (albeit relatively recent past) is in question. Sound like a certain shaggy-haired criminal? Look, I don’t have feelings one way or the other. I don’t care who Kate chooses, although I think that Kate choosing Jack would make for better TV; her choosing Sawyer makes more sense to their characters (kindred criminal spirits and whatnot). Not only that, but Josh Holloway is a much better brooding actor. I just don’t buy Matthew Fox as an actor sometimes. Last week’s episode was some of Holloway’s best acting so far. It made me actually believe that if Fox were to leave the show, it would be in decent hands with Sawyer. I’m not saying that should happen, but the rumor is that there is a cast-changing event on the finale this year. Who’s to say it wouldn’t be Jack? Yeah right.

The Office

I don’t know if there are as many ways to improve The Office as there are to improve Lost. After last week’s “Women’s Appreciation” episode, I don’t know if there are any. These might be a stretch, but let’s see…

• Make Andy less creepy and more diabolical. When Andy came to the show, he was like a breath of fresh fraternity air. I think that the producers noticed that so they brought him and Karen from the Stamford branch to mix things up for the Dundies in Scranton. Last week’s episode, they put forth that he was in fact, the guy who flashed Phyllis (it was subtle, but watch again…you’ll see it). We know Andy’s crazy, but I didn’t see him as a sexual deviant. Go back to when he’d get all frustrated because Jim put his cell phone in the ceiling tiles…THAT was funny. Be real and leave the real creepiness to the king of it all, Creed “He was just hanging some brain” Bratton. Every time Creed is on screen, I laugh hysterically. He’s so subtle, but such an important part of the show.
• More background Kelly and Ryan. Her dancing in the car to Michael’s ring tone was priceless. Her telling Ryan she wanted to name their baby Suri Usher Jennifer Hudson Kapoor. Priceless. Ryan (who has just admitted to Jim that he sent an e-mail to Karen asking her out) saying he wouldn’t want to be in an office relationship was too funny. I think that BJ Novak and Mindy Kaling (who are two of the main writers of the show) are hesitant to put themselves on display, but they always make me laugh.
• Get rid of Jan. I think this may be a foregone conclusion after last week, but we’ll see. I don’t know what it is about her that is both funny and annoying. Last week’s episode put it into great perspective. She’s a dude.

How I Met Your Mother

Marshall and Lily and Barney have dominated this season. Rightfully so…they are the best characters. However, Ted is the driving force behind the show and it’s called How I Met Your Mother. I don’t think that the creators of the show (the real-life Ted and Marshall) are going to change their mind from the first season and Ted and Robin will end up together…I just don’t know where this alleged “mother” is going to come from. I think that there are still people who want it to be Robin, but it’s just not possible in my opinion. That leaves the show very open-ended and gives them the ability to figure out the perfect way for Ted to meet the mother. The show is awesome. It is really my new “Friends”. If you aren’t watching it, you should. I don’t really have any other suggestions.

IMPORTANT UPDATE: I just read that for some reason, CBS has How I Met Your Mother “on the bubble”. That is utter ridiculousness, but it’s been quasi-confirmed by Kristin Veitch at E!Online (watch the video after the link). This was more than disheartening news for me…

Dancing with the Stars

• Get rid of Samantha Harris. Worst. Commentator. Ever.
• Make the Results show a half-hour. It is always an hour, which is totally ridiculous. Completely filler. No reason to be an hour.
• Consistent scoring. Last week when Apolo said that he’d like to see more consistent scoring across the board, I applauded him. Billy Ray Cyrus got a pass up until last night because he got good ratings (for God knows why). I couldn’t ever figure out why Len loved him and then was all over Joey and Apolo when they tried to entertain a little.

Entourage

• Make Vince less of a moron. The dude is seriously one of the worst decision makers I’ve ever seen. Perhaps that is on purpose, but it is annoying. Honestly, he is probably the worst character on the show. (Aside: I LOVED Adam Goldberg on Sunday’s episode…Hilarious.)
• Give Turtle something to do. Anything. I actually liked watching him last season try to be a manager. This year, he is Drama’s errand boy. He needs to progress a little as a character.
• More Lloyd. The relationship between Lloyd and Ari is the best part of the show. He’s been gone the last two episodes. BRING BACK LLOYD.

Heroes

This is a tough one because it’s new and I like it a lot, but I still have some opinions.

• Get rid of Nikki/Jessica. Ali Larter is an absolutely AWFUL actress. She shouldn’t be on the show.
• Have something happen to Peter that makes him lose all his powers. This is getting ridiculous. Sylar is likely going to die in the season finale…something should happen to Peter to keep him from gaining everyone’s power because either he will be like the ultimate hero or he’ll just be lame.
• Tell me what Mama Petrelli’s power is. Seriously. It is driving me nuts. I want to know!
• Get rid of Thompson (Eric Roberts). I think he is supposed to be sinister, but he just bugs me.

American Idol

I saved the most popular show on TV for last. Here’s my suggestion:

End the show. I wouldn’t buy the album of any of these fools left. Quit while you are ahead. If you can’t do that, at least replace Randy and Paula with people who speak English. If I have to hear “you worked it out” or “it just didn’t work for me” or “but you know I love you” or “you’re great” one more time, I’m going to puke. REAL CRITICISM, PEOPLE! That’s what you are there for!

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